He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
