I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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