I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
