Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
