I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize