This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize