Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
