I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize