Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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