I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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