He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
