his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
