Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I accidentally burped into my bong.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
