I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
