You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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