Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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