I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
