ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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