Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
