Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
