He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
