I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
