Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
