Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
