i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
