You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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