butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
