I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
