Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
