Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
