I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize