I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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