All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
