Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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