You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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