That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
