well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think my moral compass just broke
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
