...so i touched it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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