very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
