i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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