Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
