you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize