Me too!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
