when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
