Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There's always time for handjobs
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
