Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
