is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm at about main and main street
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
