talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
someone owes me an orgasm
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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