Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
