My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
