That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
