just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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