And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize