I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
