My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
