Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today

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(817): View more from Texas

You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant

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(443): View more from Maryland

My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.

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(562): View more from California

Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics

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(845): View more from New York

she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.

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(260): View more from Indiana

I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.

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(208): View more from Idaho

It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.

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