I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
