My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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