she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
