i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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