RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Damn victory sex feels great
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize