And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i think we sleep fucked last night...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
