So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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